Watching From Afar

She watched her from afar and up close.

It pained her to watch the girl grow up without a mother or father on that harsh, desert world with just an old man keeping her company, helping to raise her. All of this was out of a last-minute, desperate attempt to keep her safe from radicals who wanted to kill her because of her lineage. And her powers.

Of course she was a target. She survived the Jedi Massacre. But condemning the poor girl to a life on a harsh, backwater planet, like the man who re-established the Jedi Order had been, was in her mind, cruel. Perhaps “cruel” wasn’t the best way to describe her situation. Perhaps “unfortunate” was best. She would grow up alone, without friends and without any company to form an attachment to. The founder of the New Order at least got to have friends.

But she would come to the world every now and then to see how the young one was progressing. In the time she came, she watched her turn from a scared little girl into a woman forced to survive, becoming a scavenger. Those fields of Star Destroyers and Republic Cruisers were the proverbial goldmine or treasure trove of legends.

There were a few bluffs and hills surrounding the ruins, and she would watch from there. With her macrobinocs trained on her, she would watch as she descended into the Star Destroyers or Cruisers to collect her materials.

The first time she watched this, she had to look away from the Star Destroyers. They brought up painful memories of servitude that she was desperate to move on from. But as she continued to come back year after year, those bad memories went by the wayside, to be replaced by her desire and need to watch the young woman’s progress.

And she was impressed, to say the least. The young woman put her scavenging skills to good use, learned to fend for herself and became a fine young woman.

She would feel a rising sense of pride each time she had to fight off a miscreant who’d tried to snatch her haul from her. That smirk and slight nod was her beaming approval of a job well done. She wished that she could congratulate her in person, but her mission would not allow her. So she took pride from afar. She wept for her when she watched her sulk at the foot of the walker she lived in. She knew what it was like to be taken from her family and grow up on her own. She wanted to rescue her from the fate she’d suffered, but she would shove those thoughts down with an understanding that she was capable of taking care of herself. At the very least, she wanted to comfort her when she cried at night.

Her mission took priority.

No one took the group seriously. They were no threat to the powers that be, just a group of rabble-rousers pretending to be the Empire, but with no power or authority at all, running around, causing trouble for a few backwater worlds. Well, it was a backwater world where the Empire’s most feared enforcer came from. Not her, of course, but the man who fathered the one who re-established the Jedi Order. Fitting that the son of the man who first destroyed it would try to rebuild it.

Every now and then, she would hear rumors of the group wreaking havoc on another world each time she stopped at some pirate bar or infiltrated a smuggling ring. Even her former employer—well, second employer, after the Empire—could get some dirt for her. And she would give that dirt to her sister-in-law’s husband. That, sadly, went nowhere. He was in too deep despair after losing his son. She didn’t blame him. But she had other things to do.

Even as her husband’s family fell apart and her husband went into hiding, she kept on with her mission. It was the only thing keeping her going. Even as she stood on that desert planet, cloaked to protect herself from the heat, and her identity, she had to remind herself that what she was doing was for the best, and—

“Excuse me?”

She froze in her spot. The young woman she had been monitoring on and off for years stood behind her. The temptation to turn around and reveal herself was palpable, but she didn’t so much as flinch. “Yes?”

“I haven’t seen you around here before,” the young woman said. “Who are you?”

“Oh, I’m just a passing traveler,” she said. “I just needed a place to stop over.”

“Really?” the young woman asked. “I know all about passing through.” Her wistful tone of voice spoke volumes.

“I’m sorry,” she said. I’m sorry we had to leave you here. I’m sorry we abandoned you. I didn’t want to do it, and I’m sorry.

“Don’t be,” the young woman replied. “I don’t need any pity. But I’m sure they’ll come. What’s your name, by the way?”

“Mar-y.” She had to stop herself from revealing her real name at the last second, cursed herself for almost slipping.

“That’s a strange name,” said the young woman. “My name’s Rey, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Rey,” said the older woman. She heard someone calling to her from a distance. So she didn’t have a chance to say good-bye before running away.

The woman turned to watch her with those sad green eyes. If she had the courage, she would call out to the now-distant Rey that she loved her and wanted to take her off the planet. She didn’t. And as she twisted some of the red hair she sported, Mara Jade Skywalker desperately wanted to embrace her daughter one last time.

But instead, she left the planet.

So it was an incredible relief when she found out via rumor that Han Solo took a young woman, a former Stormtrooper and a BB astromech to the hideout of Maz Kanata, she ran outside the bar and cried tears of joy.